


Fear Me

by UnknownUniverse



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27994674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnknownUniverse/pseuds/UnknownUniverse
Summary: “It would have been appreciated if someone had explained what a boggart does beforehand.” Kai muttered, clutching Molangie.“A boggart takes the form of your worst fear.” Taehyun replied promptly.“It does not!” Kai hissed back. “I am most afraid of my sisters’ murder! I know that! I’ve accepted that! It did not take the form of their dead bodies.”Boggarts have their own opinions for which fear is actually your worst fear, and they don't always agree.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 119





	Fear Me

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the idea that boggarts can pick and choose which fears to take the form of, since most people have more than one. Also based on the observation that only a few people in the series were afraid of some form of death (i.e. Molly Weasley).

Hogwarts was the only school where you knew the worst fear of all your classmates by your fifth year. If it was a particularly weird or particularly funny fear, the whole school knew it.

Kai wasn’t worried. His greatest fear was quite simple: his sisters being murdered.

He was prepared when he walked into the classroom and stared at the wooden cabinet rustling slightly as the Professor explained _Riddikulus_. He was prepared as he took his spot in the middle of the group of Hufflepuff and Slytherin students.

What they failed to explain, or even vaguely mention, was that it wasn’t your worst fear that the boggart took the form of. No. It was what you subconsciously perceived as the greatest _danger._

The boggart promptly exploded into a blazing inferno of fire.

Kai froze, staring at the mesmerizing flames as they hovered a few inches above the ground. The heat bathed his face and he forced himself to stay still and raise his wand.

“Riddikulus!” Strong. Confident. It’s not a blazing inferno, no, its just an angry Calcifer.

The second thing both the professor and textbook failed to explain is that a boggart can affect its surroundings. In that when Kai’s subconscious pictured a massive fire, it was apparently floating and thus not touching the surrounding wooden cabinet or floors. However, everyone knows Calcifer can’t survive without his logs, so Kai instinctively pictured Calcifer crackling happily on some logs when he cast the smell.

Thus, the boggart changed into a snarky fire demon sitting on top of the wooden wardrobe and the room promptly started filling with smoke.

“Aguamenti!”

At least the Professor hadn’t frozen at the realization the wardrobe was on fire.

Why did they have so much wood in this classroom anyway? Fire was a perfectly reasonable fear. The design of this classroom was stupid.

Kai slunk to the back of the class, watching it turn into a werewolf for the sixth time that day. His classmates were already snickering at him as he hunched his shoulders. His face was on fire.

Well.

Not literally at least.

Kai had a lot of practice compartmentalizing, especially when it came to fear. It was the only logical reason he had for why he waited until he walked into the Hufflepuff common room, saw Soobin sitting next to Taehyun on the couch, and promptly burst into tears.

“Woah, okay.” Taehyun’s head jerked up, eyes blown wide as Kai sobbed into his hands.

Soobin quickly stood up and bundled the younger Hufflepuff in between them on the couch, casting a quick _muffliato_ to at least hide the noises he was making from anyone passing through.

“I don’t know why I’m crying!” Kai gasped out, burying his face into Soobin’s shoulder.

“That’s okay Kai, we’re here for you.” Soobin soothed.

Soobin’s arm tensed slightly around Kai’s shoulders and he felt Taehyun get up from the couch.

“I’m going to go grab Yeonjun and Beomgyu. I’ll be back in a minute.” Taehyun’s voice was muffled and he was vaguely aware of Soobin nodding his head before going back to rubbing Kai’s back.

“It’s okay. You’re here with me, it’s just us, okay Kai?” Soobin’s voice was quiet, gentle, spoken directly into his ear as he frantically tried to stop crying.

“I don’t know why I’m crying!” His voice sounded hysterical but he just, he _never_ cried.

“Kai, that’s fine. It’s fine. Just breathe with me, yes?”

He could feel when Soobin took a breath and slowly focused on matching his rhythm. In and out. In and out. Slowly he felt himself calm back down. His eyes were clenched shut, focused on the steady rhythm underneath his head.

He cracked open his eyes and sat back up, sliding off Soobin to the couch next to him. A gentle hand was running through his hair as worried brown eyes stared down at him. He took a steadying breath and looked around.

Taehyun, Beomgyu, and Yeonjun were seated around him in a semi-circle.

“Hi guys.”

“Rough day?” Yeonjun remarked calmly. If you didn’t know what to look for, he looked perfectly calm and collected but there was a slight shake to his right hand.

Great. He had worried his best friends.

“Yep.”

As if he hadn’t just bawled for who knows how long in front of them, his voice was absolutely wrecked. There was no doubt Kai had turned into a blubbering mess because of a boggart.

“You want to tell us what happened, Kai?” Soobin’s voice was still pitched low, cautious. The voice he used when he was working in the hospital wing with a particularly nervous patient.

“Um.”

Did he want to? Not particularly. But he knew the rumors would start at dinner tonight and they would know anyway. It was better to hear it from him than whatever story his classmates would spin.

“I may have set the boggart cabinet on fire?”

There was no ‘maybe’ about it… he knew he set the cabinet on fire. But it hadn’t burned down so what were a few scorch marks anyway, right?

“Okay?” Beomgyu’s voice was confused, “I feel like all of us have set something, or someone, on fire at least once while practicing spells. Was the professor mad or something?”

Kai shook his head and huffed.

“The boggart turned into fire and then I thought of Calcifer, right? Like what’s cuter than a sassy fire demon? But no one told me that a boggart can, you know, actually do anything? So Calcifer has to have wood to survive and I sort of imagined him on the cabinet and boom the cabinet was on fire.” He took a deep breath after spitting out his explanation so quickly.

“What is a Calcifer?” Beomgyu raised his eyebrows.

“Demons aren’t real.” Taehyun pointed out calmly. “So, it wasn’t like it was a real thing.” He turned to Beomgyu, “Calcifer is a book character you illiterate swine.”

“I am not!”

“When was the last time you read a book?”

“I read the textbook!”

“When was the last time you even picked up your textbook?”

“I read my potions textbook every day in class.”

“Potions recipes don’t count.”

“It is still in a book therefore your point is invalid.”

“Fine. I have never seen you willingly look at a book, excluding required textbooks during class.”

Kai giggled as his two friends started into their usual bickering. Soobin’s arm was still wrapped around his waist and he leaned into his warmth and watched. There was a sense of normalcy in it that was akin to wrapping himself in a warm blanket and cuddling with one of his plushies.

Soobin nudged him quietly.

He glanced up into beautiful brown eyes and immediately fought down a blush at how close they were. Something soft was insistently poking him in his face. He pulled away and looked at it, snatching the plushie out of Soobin’s hand the second he recognized Molangie.

Yeonjun smacked the back of Taehyun and Beomgyu’s heads who had somehow devolved into an argument over muggle studies. Taehyun must have admitted Calcifer was a character in a muggle book, therefore Beomgyu wouldn’t have read it anyway. He smiled as three sets of eyes, one concerned, two pouting, turned back to him.

“You’re not crying over a potentially charred cabinet Kai.” Leave it to Yeonjun to cut straight to the point. “And I sincerely doubt you’re crying over any potential rumors.”

That was true. It was embarrassing, but he didn’t cry easily.

He shrugged and hugged Molangie tighter to his chest. He should have known they wouldn’t accept that as an answer.

Yeonjun crossed his arms over his chest, “So boggart day, huh?”

Stupid smart friends that paid too much attention to his rant.

Soobin’s hand had switched to rubbing his back, slowly keeping him calm as his mind turned back to the raging inferno that had appeared before him.

“It would have been appreciated if someone had explained what a boggart does beforehand.” He muttered, clutching Molangie.

“A boggart takes the form of your worst fear.” Taehyun replied promptly.

“It does _not!_ ” Kai hissed back. “I am most afraid of my sisters’ murder! I know that! I’ve accepted that! It did _not_ take the form of their dead bodies.”

He huffed and turned his head back into Soobin’s shoulder.

“There is so much to unpack in that statement.” Beomgyu’s voice cut through the silence.

He felt Soobin sigh.

“Why don’t you tell us what it became instead?” His voice was soft, always so soft.

“Fire.” He muttered. “I already told you.”

“And what does fire remind you of?” Soobin replied quietly.

His house burning down when he was six.

“You guys are wizard-born, you wouldn’t get it.” He muttered.

“Excuse you? I grew up in the same town as you!” Taehyun burst out.

“Yeah, but your mom was still a wizard! House fires are fixed with the flick of a wand!” Kai shot back.

“We do have magically enhanced fires Kai. They can’t be put out with water.” How Soobin and Yeonjun stayed so patient, Kai will never understand. “Did something happen with a fire?”

“Yes.” He knew he was sulking but he didn’t care.

“Can you tell us what happened?”

No.

Yes.

Ugh.

“Lightning struck our house when I was little. It burned down.” And so much more. The scars on his back were a testament to how much more occurred during that thunderstorm. Whoever said that rain could put out fires had never been in a real house fire before.

“What…” Yeonjun was swiftly cut off.

“Okay Kai, thank you for telling us.” Soobin’s voice floated around him. “I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m sure the boggart turning into fire was very frightening.”

There was a reason Soobin was going into psychiatric medicine.

“That still doesn’t explain…”

A hand slapping across Beomgyu’s mouth as Taehyun smiled at him.

Yeonjun made an exaggeratedly happy face. “You survived it though! Congratulations, you made it past your first boggart!”

Kai smiled back hesitantly and then froze as Yeonjun’s words caught up to him. “What do you mean by first boggart?”

Taehyun had his first boggart the next day. He was apparently terrified of Gollum, a character from another muggle book series, which proceeded to terrify half of the wizard-born who had never seen such a creature before and resulted in the boggart staying as Gollum for half of the class. It was enough of a funny story to keep the gossip about his own fire demon down. A few comments here and there about how he thought a fire demon (a sassy fire demon, Yeonjun!) would be a funny transformation for a fire fear but it was all in good fun.

Taehyun, who had promptly turned Gollum into a house elf wearing a Christmas sweater, was thoroughly enjoying retelling the stories of his Gryffindor classmates struggling to turn this ugly mutated hobbit into something funny. Kai listened with a smile as he squeezed Soobin’s hand to death underneath the table.

Soobin had cracked and finally admitted that morning that Kai would have to face two more boggarts. One would be the same one Taehyun faced, it had a habit of turning into _who_ not necessarily _what_ you feared. The last would be your actual worst fear, whether it was related to your own mortality or not.

Funny that Kai had been fully prepared for the last one while the first two were specifically chosen to ease you into it.

He poked at the potatoes on his plate and sighed. Time to find out who he feared the most. His grandfather maybe?

Kai’s greatest fear? Ferbies. The stupid fluffy pet thing that always seemed to be staring at you while you were asleep. The wizard-born in his class had simply stared as the boggart turned into a fluffy creature with glowing red eyes. At least it was much larger in boggart form than the actual hand-held toy.

Kai turned it into a niffler. It felt appropriate.

Taehyun found it hilarious when he told him later. Soobin simply rubbed his back and offered him a roll. They hadn’t learned about ferbies in muggle studies so everyone assumed it was some sort of evil book character.

Small mercies.

Taehyun was afraid of masked men with semi-automatic guns whom he turned into toy soldiers. Yeonjun told a story of his turning into his grandfather and turning him into a mummy. Soobin laughed as he explained turning a green horntail dragon into a children’s story character.

Kai knew they were trying to distract him from thinking about the third boggart and he appreciated it, he really did, but this was the one he had already prepared for. There wouldn’t be any issues.

So maybe there were a few issues.

“I am an idiot.” He announced to his owl Tobin softly, clutching Molangie to his chest.

He sat down heavily on the edge of the tower as Tobin patiently rested beside him, eating his treats. He had anticipated seeing his sisters’ dead bodies, but he hadn’t anticipated a third.

Closing his eyes, he let the scene flood back into his mind. Somewhere around half the class had seen murder scenes, the other half was some family member or another yelling at them in disappointment, so when he went up no one paid attention to the three bodies sprawled across the floor, red seeping into a carpet from various slash and bullet wounds. All three were face-down but that didn’t stop him from recognizing them. Both his sisters… and Soobin.

Some sick part of him had wanted to try to turn them over, to confirm it was actually them, but when it was your own fear staring you in the face you didn’t need the visual confirmation. Your first thought was the correct one.

He rubbed his face harshly and breathed out.

It was fine. It was okay. He had turned the blood into poppies and the bodies into rabbits because he was thinking of Soobin at the time and it turned into a sweet summer scene. Done. Moving on.

Except it wasn’t that easy.

After class he had come straight to the owlery to send a letter home, make sure his sisters were okay. Most of his class had followed, carefully not looking each other in the eyes as they sent off their letters.

Tobin watched him quietly.

He sighed again, tied the letter securely and sent Tobin off to his family.

The setting sun cast an ominous glow around the castle grounds. There was a part of him desperate to find Soobin, to make sure he was okay, that he was alive. There was another part of him mortified at what that would admit.

It wasn’t a secret, his massive crush on the older boy. Taehyun had known from the beginning, nearly two years ago, and he was pretty sure Beomgyu had figured it out shortly after the Halloween ball where he refused to leave his side the entire night. He couldn’t help it. Soobin was well-loved not only for his looks but also his sweet personality and plenty of people had asked him to dance that night. Kai knew he was being a leech, not wanting to let his best friend go and have a good time without him, but he hadn’t been able to get himself to let go.

And now all he wanted was to make sure Soobin was still safe, was still okay, and he couldn’t get himself to move.

Soft footsteps behind him as someone else sent off a letter with their owl. They retreated a short time later and Kai was left bathed in silence and the orange sky.

“Yeonjun said he saw you here.” Soobin’s voice was quiet, quiet as he settled down next to Kai and let their shoulders brush. “We all see the same thing on the last day. Loved ones screaming at us. Being told we're failures in one form or another." He could feel Soobin glance over at him, "Loved ones in horrible positions, usually dead.”

Kai wanted to nod, to acknowledge Soobin sitting next to him, but instead he felt himself slump forward in relief, leaning more heavily on the stone pillar next to him and breathing out harshly through his mouth.

“I saw four people that day.” Soobin waited patiently.

“Three.” Kai eventually grit out. “I saw three.”

He felt Soobin nod next to him. “My three siblings and you.”

His head snapped up to meet Soobin’s steady eyes, “What?”

Soobin shrugged, “You were face-down but I knew it was you. Remember the day I asked to share your bed?”

Of course, he remembered. His heart had been beating a mile a minute that night and he had barely slept as Soobin wrapped him up completely in his arms. He managed a jerky nod.

“That was after the third boggart.”

Kai stared at him.

Soobin had a small smile on his face, more wistful than sad, as he looked at Kai’s shocked expression.

“I don’t think I understood what it meant back then; it took me a little while longer to figure it out. By that time, I was positive it was better to stay friends, brothers, partly because you were so young. Also, partly because I was afraid.” He raised a hand hesitantly and pat Molangie’s head before dropping it back into his lap. “There was no way someone like you would feel like that for me and I was terrified of rejection.” He tilted his head to the side. “I suppose I still am afraid, but its not debilitating anymore. No matter what you will always be my best friend.”

“You were my third.” Kai blurted out and had to restrain himself from slapping a hand over his mouth in shock.

Soobin merely smiled and waited for him to continue. The patient bastard knew exactly how to get Kai to talk.

His face heated up and he looked away, back out over the dark castle grounds, “You, and my two sisters. Those were my three.”

A soft hand placed on top of his.

“I’m right here Kai. I’m okay.”

That was Soobin, always knowing the right thing to say.

“Kai,” Kai forced himself to look back at him, “I don’t want to take advantage of you right now. I know how you must be feeling. But in the morning, come down to the common room a bit early for breakfast, yeah?”

Kai giggled, finally releasing a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding, “What, so you get to hijack my bed the night after you get scared, but I don’t? You want me to just sleep and see you in the morning? How is that fair?”

A flash of surprise immediately replaced with tentative hope in the expressive brown eyes staring back at him.

“We can still talk in the morning.” He murmured, “But I’d really rather you stay with me.”

“I can do that.”

Soobin’s arms were so warm.

If anyone noticed them holding hands in the morning when they walked down to breakfast they didn’t comment. Just like how no one commented the next night when Taehyun was glued to Beomgyu’s side and there wasn’t a single bickering match the entirety of dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not thrilled with this one but I promised a friend I'd try to write a story, and actually post it, at least once a month. This one got a bit darker than I originally intended although I revised as much of the angst out as I could.  
> If I have time I may write another one for this month.  
> I like writing in the world of Hogwarts so if anyone has an idea - let me know :)


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